I'm Not A Horse!
by itsfinnmcmissile
Summary: In which KI2T falls in love, becomes the leader he should be, and generally becomes less of a sidekick. Contains characters from every KR spinoff, but stars the Trans Am we all know and love. No OCs.


_(None of the characters in this story are OCs. Hannah Tyree and Jake McQueen are from Knight Rider 2010, the briefly mentioned KIFT (he's mentioned later on in the story) is from Knight Rider 2000 and I'm pretty sure you either know of, or can easily learn about, the other characters. I have tried to make this story somewhat canon, and have failed completely as most off the Knight Rider spinoffs are incompatible. Ah well, hope you enjoy this anyway.)_

* * *

Hannah Tyree, first human ever capable of being mistaken for an automobile in the history of Earth, was completely and startlingly outraged. "That KITT is such a frustrating machine! Can you believe it actually tried to get me to move myself into a new car?" Still boiling with frustration, she allowed her engine to roar mightily. A thick plume of bluish smog poured from her tailpipe, flooding the parking lot around her with foul smelling haze.

Jake McQueen smiled slightly at the car who had once been his lover, somehow ignoring the horrific stench that filled the air. "Don't judge KITT so harshly, Hannah. He didn't know that you liked this old car so much." _I didn't know either,_ he thought wryly.

"'He'?" Hannah huffed in disbelief, "Please, Jake, the Knight Industries Two Thousand is a computer. It has _never_ been human, and _never_ will be human. You know that."

"And I always thought you were the type of person who didn't hate people for being different," muttered Jake.

"Jake, I've seen humans and machines. I can tell the difference between the two. The Knight Industries Two Thousand is a cold, heartless, mindless machine, only capable of obeying orders. It is an it!"

"All right, all right," sighed Jake. When Hannah was angry, he preferred to avoid arguing with her. Cowardly? Perhaps. But sometimes cowardice is a good idea.

* * *

"Michael?" asked a certain black Trans Am, his scanner light sweeping from side to side in a way which could only be described as nervous.

"Yes, KITT?" his rather elderly and grey haired 'pilot' replied, raising an eyebrow at the car's uncertainty.

"I think I've fallen in love."

"WHAT?" Michael yelped, involutarily taking a step backwards and nearly tripping on a random rock which just happened to be directly behind him.

"I think I'm in love with that new Foundation employee, Hannah Tyree. Every time I see her, I feel this strange feeling; it's like I want to make her happy and keep her safe for the rest of my life. A bit like how I feel about you, but different. Stronger." A pause then, "Warmer. Fuzzier."

Michael stared at KITT, eyebrows rising higher with each word KITT used to describe his feelings for Hannah. By the time the car had used the word 'fuzzier', the Knight's eyebrows were impressivelyy close to being hidden by his receding hairline. "You've fallen in love with Hannah?" He spluttered, "She seems nice enough, but really, she looks like she came from a scrap yard!"

"Her car body did if the information in her files is correct, Michael. But physical beauty isn't everything." The car retorted reproachfully. "You must know that, considering some of the females you've dated."

Michael winced, remembering some of the girls he had adored when he was young. Many had looked... peculiar. Especially by the very different standards of the twenty-first century. "True."

"So, could you help me? I'd like to tell her how I feel about her, and I don't know how."

Michael mumbled something about 'talking cars' and 'WALL-E' and 'must be dreaming', then pulled himself together. "Okay, I'll help you. I hope you aren't going to leave me for her though, buddy. I'd miss you."

"Thank you, Michael" the Trans Am said.

* * *

Hannah parked in her reserved Foundation parking spot, thinking somewhat unhappily about her past. She was thinking about going to find Jake when a sleek black Trans Am parked in the space next to her, completely disregarding the sign with clearly stated that the spot was reserved for visitors only.

"What are you doing here?" Hannah snapped.

"I came to apologize. Suggesting to you should move to a new car was rude of me," KITT said mildly. "I am sorry. I did not intend to offend you."

That was a surprise. Hannah let her consciousness stretch to inspect KITT's mind. It was difficult for her to read more than a few small scraps of his thoughts as he was a very complex and unique computer, but she detected something that looked very much like a machine's version of genuine regret. "It's all right. You didn't know this car was so valuable to me," she told him a bit more gently.

"Still, it is a mistake I will attempt to avoid in the future."

"Thank you, KITT," Hannah said. Her voice wasn't friendly, but at least she wasn't bristling with hostility now.

KITT quietly reversed out of the parking spot, feeling satisfied. For an artificial intelligence's first attempt at becoming somewhat friendly with the woman he loved, it wasn't bad at all, but he didn't want to push his luck just yet.

* * *

"KITT, we need to talk," Jake said, walking over to KITT, who was parked in his reserved space and waiting for Michael to either come wash him, or find someone who could.

"Are you here to clean me?" KITT asked hopefully, wondering why Hannah's partner would be talking to him. He doubted the man was here to clean him, but personal hygiene was currently his primary concern (a classic car should always look his best, after all!).

Jake scowled. "Of course not. You've been getting very friendly with Hannah lately. What are you planning?"

"I have hardly been 'very friendly'. I've talked with her four times this week for reasons other than business~"

Jake cut KITT off abruptly. "Why are you socializing with her at all?"

"She's an intelligent person and very pleasant to talk with," KITT said a bit grumpily. That man's distrusting stare was making the Trans Am feel positively _filthy._

"Well don't go getting any ideas about messing with her. I don't trust machines like you," Jake folded his arms in front of him and glared down at the car.

KITT's scanner swished faster as he considered Jake's words and found them to be quite insulting. "If you think I'd ever harm her, physically or emotionally, I think you may need to reacquaint yourself with my most basic commands."

"Just stay away from Hannah, understood?" Jake said quietly.

"I will if she asks me to," KITT retorted.

McQueen left, looking stiff with anger.

The Trans Am suddenly came to the conclusion that he'd rather never be washed again than have another conversation like that.

* * *

_I just realized that I haven't published anything in months! I decided that this should be remedied, and so I went through all my unpublished stories in search of something halfway tolerable. This story was the only promising one I found, sadly._

_Ah well._

_I hope you all enjoyed this. Reviews are appreciated, but I won't be sad if you decide not to bother writing one. And if you review, feel free to tell me about anything that doesn't make sense. I'll do my best to either send you a message to clarify it, or make sure it gets clarified in the second chapter. Crossovers on this scale can be a bit confusing!_


End file.
